Intro

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Hello,

I'm Melody.

I'm 21 and I feel I have been on a journey of many fumblings and disasters since teen hood in trying to find a faith that actually sits well with me and doesn't give me headaches with all the inherent contradictions that come with them.

I come from a very Jewish and liberal background and thus was allowed to explore my spirituality as much as I liked (so long as it didn't cost too much money :), so I at first felt uncomfortable studying other religions because I felt compelled to stay Jewish (in religion) despite the fact that I feel little connection to the religion other than the way it has affected my way of thinking (to be a good person and to be practical), so I've been looking for many years and I don't know yet if I'm finding what I need, what I do know is that the minute I discarded religion and thought just about faith I realized it wasn't the structure of religion that I lacked, because despite coming from a vaguely heretical home, we are very much part of the community (no choice living in Israel), it wasn't even faith that I lacked, for I have faith in myself and if you have faith in yourself what other faith do you need.
What I lacked was spirit.
I realize that I had been living in a materialistic (in every sense of the word) world and that just caused a rift within me, because I am unable to view the wold as wholly material.
So structured faiths and religions, not for me.

And here I am.

I look forward to learning from all of you.
Thank you.